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like a rather surprising number of people I know, I helped Contraband to its strong opening weekend. despite the best efforts of rough-cut Ben Foster, duct-taped Diego Luna and even a white-tank-topped J.K. Simmons, this is mostly a Mark Wahlberg-sexy-time-type movie. my film-going colleague (code name: Black T-Shirt) helped reintroduce me to the concept of the “girl boner.” I won’t retain many plot details but I feel it’s important to catalog the general aura of Marky Mark’s endless hotness (though he’s recently indicated that he’s rigidly against self-pleasure). quoted below is your Black T-Shirt top four mas macho Mark Wahlberg moments from Contraband: 4. “in the weight room when he says, ‘that fucker will EAT you.’” because, she explains, Mark Wahlberg’s sense of humor is just as ripped as his deltoids. 3. “oh oh oh! when he was getting iodine in the store to test the fake money and he walks past the dealer guy and points at him and says something like, ‘you better hope I’m wrong.’” Black T-Shirt proves herself to be easily moved by Wahlbergian finger pointing, as the rest of the list will show. personally, I was more moved by his quote just prior to this one, “this is no fucking bueno.” because there’s nothing sexier than bilingualism. 2. “when he says: ‘I’m coming—I’m coming for you!’” the fact that it is hissed at the betrayer Ben Foster does not make it any less of a “that’s what she said!” line. and, yes, Wahlberg was jabbing his finger with fully furrowed intensity when he said it. 1. “definitely the moment when he sticks the gun in the back of his pants.” I thought this scene didn’t show enough butt and/or undies, but it still produced an involuntary purr of glee from Black T-Shirt. director Baltasar Kormakur enjoyed the shot so much he duplicated it later in the film, when Wahlberg sticks an uncomfortably long blueprint roll into his work suit.

like a rather surprising number of people I know, I helped Contraband to its strong opening weekend. despite the best efforts of rough-cut Ben Foster, duct-taped Diego Luna and even a white-tank-topped J.K. Simmons, this is mostly a Mark Wahlberg-sexy-time-type movie.

my film-going colleague (code name: Black T-Shirt) helped reintroduce me to the concept of the “girl boner.” I won’t retain many plot details but I feel it’s important to catalog the general aura of Marky Mark’s endless hotness (though he’s recently indicated that he’s rigidly against self-pleasure).

quoted below is your Black T-Shirt top four mas macho Mark Wahlberg moments from Contraband:

4. “in the weight room when he says, ‘that fucker will EAT you.’” because, she explains, Mark Wahlberg’s sense of humor is just as ripped as his deltoids.

3. “oh oh oh! when he was getting iodine in the store to test the fake money and he walks past the dealer guy and points at him and says something like, ‘you better hope I’m wrong.’” Black T-Shirt proves herself to be easily moved by Wahlbergian finger pointing, as the rest of the list will show. personally, I was more moved by his quote just prior to this one, “this is no fucking bueno.” because there’s nothing sexier than bilingualism.

2. “when he says: ‘I’m coming—I’m coming for you!’” the fact that it is hissed at the betrayer Ben Foster does not make it any less of a “that’s what she said!” line. and, yes, Wahlberg was jabbing his finger with fully furrowed intensity when he said it.

1. “definitely the moment when he sticks the gun in the back of his pants.” I thought this scene didn’t show enough butt and/or undies, but it still produced an involuntary purr of glee from Black T-Shirt. director Baltasar Kormakur enjoyed the shot so much he duplicated it later in the film, when Wahlberg sticks an uncomfortably long blueprint roll into his work suit.

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